


Save As Draft

by AnonymousWatermelon13



Category: Marthe Woertman - Fandom, Original Work, Watermelons - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Letters, Marth Watermelon, Marth Woertman - Freeform, Marth Wubbles, Marthe Watermelon, Marthe Woertman - Freeform, Marthe Wubbles, Song: Save As Draft (Katy Perry), marth - Freeform, marthe - Freeform, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26500555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousWatermelon13/pseuds/AnonymousWatermelon13
Summary: //TRIGGER WARNING. - Hints at suicide, severe depression //Sometimes we think we won't be missed and we get so stuck in the fog of depression that the people who are there somehow start to disappear. The fog got too dark for Marth and it consumed her.It is written from the perspective of the person left behind, in this YN is left asking why? How did she not notice? Could she have done something? As well as she is wracked with grief and missing of her beloved girlfriend Marth.This one-shot is her letter, it's one she knows she will never truly be able to send so instead she is left having to just save it as a draft...Honestly, this needs some work, it was written in a tear-stained depressive episode so it's not well perfect, but maybe when I'm in a better place one day ill go through it again and fix it up but for now it's going to stay the way it is.
Relationships: Marthe Woertman / Original female character(s)
Kudos: 1





	Save As Draft

**My Dearest Marth,**

I remember when you used to be my every other thought, when you filled my mind at every moment or when everything I saw reminded me of you. How I'd spend my days consumed by you, by your very presence and I remember how empty I felt when you left... But now my calendar has been so full I've been working a lot and honestly, it's the best thing I've ever done especially because it's made it easier to move on. Being busy has helped keep my mind off you, helped me not feel like my heart is dying every time I walk down the street and I swear I can smell your cologne.

I could have sworn I drove past your SUV the other day and for a moment I hoped, but then it all came crashing down and I remembered that no matter what I did I couldn't change anything, sometimes I just really wish I could. That I could fuck with change, flip a coin, and maybe something would be different.

I've been struggling a lot lately, trying to keep the thought of you off my mind but the pain of forgetting you is too great. Juggling the emotions of everything, but its difficult to just suddenly forget a person, especially one who made the impact you did on my life, and now suddenly your just gone... How do I forget the love of my life? How I wish I could go back in time and change things... I wish I could throw out a line to you, just something, something to stop you from... I can't write it. I can see it in text, seeing it in a text makes it too real so let's just say, gone.

I promised my therapist and your mother that I would leave it, that I would start trying to let go. I know that maybe some things are better left alone and I should let sleeping dogs lie but it's so difficult, I don't want to let you go just yet, I don't want to function without you being here, so instead I sit here writing you a letter, one I pretend you will read but I know deep down that it is impossible, doesn't stop me pretending though. I will send it to you I just might have to hand-deliver it, do you think the flower shop would deliver it if I asked? I don't know if I'm ready to go there to see you just yet...

I sit and I write and I write and I erase everything, and I repeat it all again, so often I can hear all the different versions in my head, all the things I wish I had said, the things I still wanted to say. I try to write but every time it's like anything I thought I wanted to say just disappears. So I'm left here crying, staring at my laptop with no one but myself to blame for opening up the wounds and I promise myself maybe another day, hopefully then ill figure out exactly what it is I want to say. For now, I will wear your old sweatshirt and I stare as my screen fills with photos of you. How did I just not know? How did I miss... oh god I cant..

I saw your final tweet and that last Instagram post, the one of me smiling and you kissing my cheek, who would have thought that would be the last post. I can only question if it was me who made you hurt, if I'm feeling even a fraction of what you did. If there was anything I could have done... I try to keep in contact with our old friends but after a while, it just hurt too much. Everyone tells me I should block all your social media, but I guess I'm a masochist because no matter how much it hurts I still need to see your face, I don't want to ever forget any little detail.

No matter what, I thought it would have always been us, that we would be that couple who grew old together and everyone told stories of how in love we were. Who knows maybe we are, maybe in a different time or in a different place things are different but I guess in this one it just wasn't meant to be... My number is still the same and I hate to admit but I wake with a jolt every morning and the first thing I do is check to see if there is that morning text you used to send me, that all of this was a terrible dream and you'll text me, Good-morning Baby, just like you used to... my heart sinks when I find the screen blank and It feels like a piece of me is missing.

You still litter my apartment in all my picture frames, I haven't had the heart to take them down, maybe its a tiny part of me hoping that this is a really awful nightmare, that maybe just maybe I'll see you again.. I know all has been said and done that you're gone for good, but how could they close the case, how could they just let you fade away? Will I ever be the same? My body still goes into shock every time I hear your name.

There's still billboards up with your face all over them and the media hasn't stopped playing the story. Messages from your fans flood in and memorials still keep up. You were so loved and I just wish you knew how much, that you knew how special you were to the world. I wish you knew that it feels empty, there's a whole in the universe that used to be filled with you and there's a space in my bed, that I... I miss you. Every day. How am I supposed to be okay in a world without you there?

**With all my love,**

**YN**

I take a deep breath, and I save it to drafts.

I wasn't ready to believe she was gone just yet. I didn't want to believe that she would never read it. She was the love of my life and I had lost her...I was barely able to see straight anymore, the tears blurring my vision. All I could do was write her a letter one that she will never read, one that will sit in my drafts because she's not here anymore...

My sobs echo through the apartment, it's ever so quiet now. She used to blare her music through-out the apartment there was never a moment of quiet with her around, but she was gone, and ever since then I've been drowning in silence.


End file.
